Stop Being a Doctor. Start Being a "Gentle Detective."
For over a decade, I had chronic gut issues. I went to doctors. I did the stool tests, the blood work, the elimination diets. The result? "Crickets." I was told I was "perfectly healthy" and to "just keep a log."
It was infuriating. Trying to "log" every meal when you're an overwhelmed mom is a recipe for failure.
The breakthrough came when I stopped trying to be a doctor and became a "Gentle Detective" of my own life. I realized my symptoms weren't random. They were clues.
My worst attacks of fecal incontinence? They happened in two places: grocery stores and restaurants.
I wasn't a "patient." I was a sensitive person experiencing sensory overload and decision fatigue. The bright lights, the hundreds of choices, the smells, and the noise were overwhelming my nervous system, which sent a "CODE RED" to my body.
This is the "drop-dead simple" framework I now use, and it's the one I teach:
Step 1: In the Moment... Just Be Their Calm. (This works for you or your child). When a symptom hits, your only job is to be a safe space. Don't investigate. Just observe. What do you really see, hear, or smell?
Step 2: Days Later... Get Gently Curious. When you're in a calm, happy moment, reflect on the "scene." "That pool was so loud the other day, wasn't it?"
Step 3: Be Patient & Listen for the Details. It may take 4-5 times. They'll say "I don't know." That's okay. Then one day, they'll add a tiny detail: "...and that kid was splashing! I didn't like it."
That tiny detail is your answer. You've found the trigger. You're not "logging food." You're learning the unique language of your own body.
